Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Yes, I Would Love Some Cheese with my Whine!

Trying to think of something to blog every day is the pits, so I think that little experiment has come to an end.  But coming up with something at least once a week is doable because there are so many idiots in the world to make fun of (including yours truly).

A woman at the office went into a stall in the ladies' restroom today with an e-reader in one hand and a munchie and drink in the other.  I kid you not.  And this is one of the women who I know for a fact doesn't wash her hands when she's finished.  So she leaves the restroom with potty giblets on her hands, her e-reader, and her coffee cup.  Even worse, she touches doorknobs and doors and who knows what else with those turdy hands.  I'm not a germ-a-phobe, although another woman in the restroom told me that I wash my hands more thoroughly than anyone else she has ever seen.  It's just that I have two autoimmune disorders which means that my immunity is compromised to some degree.  Dr. Dracula and Dr. OhMyAchyBody always remind me about washing my hands well and often.  So I tend to get a little perturbed when people use the facilities and leave without washing up.  Besides, it's just nasty to do that.

Have you seen the photos of folks out on the beaches in North Carolina and New Jersey?  No, I promise, I'm not making fun of Superstorm Sandy and the unfortunate people who are having to live through it.  I'm ridiculing the stupid idiots who go stand on the beach just to see the waves and feel the wind.  Like it's a balmy day with 3 foot waves and a 10 MPH wind!!  How dumb can people be?  And don't even get me started on the weather reporters who get out in the mess and are blown off their feet and their coats are ripped from their bodies and microphone are flying everywhere.  I know you're supposed to do what your boss tells you, but I'm pretty sure that risking my life is not in my job contract.

Of course, the anti-gay crazies have crawled out of the woodwork.  Remember when Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson blamed gays for the terrorist attack on 9/11/2001?  They also blamed the ACLU, feminists, abortionists, and People for the American Way.  Not that we all actually took part in the terrorist acts.  It was that our immoral behaviors invited the attack to happen.  Let's also not forget the Rev. Fred Phelps and the congregation at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.  They're the jerks who picket military funerals with signs such as "God Hates Fags", "God Loves Breast Cancer", "Pray for More Dead Cops", and my personal favorite, "You Will Eat Your Babies".  WTF?!  So now we have Rev. John McTernan blaming President Obama and the gays for Hurricane Sandy.  He also blames God for both the heat wave and drought this year plus the hurricane.  I tell ya, Rev, I'd be really careful about pointing the finger at God.

Can I get some more cheese, please?  And maybe another glass of whine?

Let's see now, who's left?  Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.  Oh, dear God, no.  People get mighty testy if you say something bad about their candidate.  I don't want a bunch of angry folks putting mean comments on my blog, so I'm not going to say that Mitt Romney flops more than a fish on the beach and Paul Ryan needs to be slapped upside the head for his views on women's rights.  I'm not going to say that if those two are elected, women can kiss their birth control benefits goodbye and their right to decide what happens with their bodies will go right out the window.  And I'm not going to say that if it were Republican men having the babies, abortion and birth control would be sacraments.  And I'm not going to say that if they win the election and coverage for birth control is wiped out, you can bet your butt that Viagra will still be subsidized.  Nope, not me, no way.

Well, will you look at that?  The whine's all gone!


  1. I'm so glad you managed to hold back and not make those political comments....bwahahahahaha! My rant? "Obama reacted too soon" (from Michael Brown of Katrina FEMA fame)...."Obama's inside nice and warm giving speeches while Romney's out collecting 'storm relief' items" (riiiiight)...arrrrggghhhhh! Wow...my whine's gone, too! Thanks, buddy!

  2. Debby, you make me so very happy! I'm so glad you came into my life! Sing with me now!!!!!! Keep writing it all down, because someone needs to be saying it and most don't have the nerve!

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  4. Oh my gosh, potty giblets! That made me laugh so hard! Haha! You have a new follower here from over at Book Blogs. Come check out my blog and follow back if you would like! :) Here's the link: MaMa's Book Corner