I can be a little a bashful in the "public restroom" department. I'm much better at it now than, say, even 3 short years ago. But there is still an occasional episode when my kidneys say "hell, no, we won't go" and the number 2 zone won't do a "number" or a "2". So I know already that I have potty issues and I'm okay with that. But there are a few things that just totally creep me out and they should creep you out, too.
The first one is that I absolutely cringe when I go into a public restroom stall, drop my drawers, sit down, and the seat is warm. I just can't stand sitting on someone else's butt heat. If the seat is cold, I can pretend that no one has ever sat on it before me. But if it's warm...well, I don't know where that butt's been. I know that's weird, but there it is.
It gets weirder.
The ladies' restroom by my office has either 7 or 8 stalls in it. Almost every time I'm in there by myself, whistlin' a tune and doin' my business, someone else comes in and sits down in the stall right next to mine. Why, when there are 6 or 7 other empty stalls, do you (and you know who you are) have to sit right next to me? That's just creepy. If you really gotta go, by all means come on in and sit for a spell. But when I'm on the throne and it's just you and me and all that empty real estate, don't sit next door. That ain't right. I'm sure there must be a law against that somewhere.
If, when washing your hands, you get water all over the counter, please dry it off. I'm short, okay? And I'm tired of dragging my belly...I mean, shirt...in it. And stop shaking the water off your hands and flinging it on the floor. Were you born in a barn? That's why God makes paper towels.
Finally, wash your hands. Yes, you. And you. I know who you are. You never wash your hands after you've wiped and flushed, and it's really grossing me out. STOP IT!!!
Whew! I feel so much better now!