Tuesday, November 30, 2010

'Tis the Season

I mailed my Christmas cards today.  I finished my Christmas shopping over a week ago and even did some of Dad's shopping.  Now all that's left to do is to wrap the stuff.  Make the Chex mix (about 12 gallons worth....seriously).  Help put up our Christmas tree.  Put up Dad's tree and decorations.  And.....

I hate the holidays.

No, not really.  But I just wore myself out thinking about all that's still left to do.  So okay, our tree will go up this week and I'll do Dad's this Saturday.  I'll start wrapping a few things every night and be finished with it in no time.  The Chex mix takes about two days.  Not so bad, after all!  I feel better already!

So I trust that everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving.  Ginger had a nice, quiet day at home with herself, the cats, and close to a 2-pound lobster that I named Leroy.  I gathered with most of my family at my sister's.  You would not believe this turkey she cooked.  Perfection in every way.  I don't even like Thanksgiving turkey and I smacked my lips all over a big ol' chunk of it.  I'm more of a Thanksgiving side dish person myself.  Give me a bowl and I'm all happy.  Some dressing/stuffing in one side, mashed potatoes in the other, and globs of gravy over the whole thing.  Now that's what I'm grateful for!  No pumpkin pie for me.  I'd rather have a vat full of carbs any day.

Yes, I know it's been quite a while since I last posted.  I've been working, gracing the doctors with my presence....you know....the usual stuff.  I saw Dr. Dracula last Monday and I see Dr. OhMyAchyBody this Thursday.  I'm now up to 41 tubes of blood and half a dozen finger pricks.  Do we know what's wrong yet?  Of course not!  Wouldn't that just be too simple?  My parotid glands have been so swollen off and on the past few days that I'm starting to look like some chipmunk's fat-faced aunt.  The sleep machine and I are not being very cordial to each other these days, but I'm trying.  Oh yeah, I had my yearly mammogram!  Woohoo!  The technician flopped my big left one up on the shelf, pushed the button to start the big squeeze, and said "Tell me when you think you can't stand a bit more pressure."  I yelled, "Boy-howdy, this is it!" (or the polite equivalent), and she added a couple of more big squeezes.  She had the shelf moving so much that I was standing on my tip toes, hanging on by a niblet, bless her heart.  But she got good pictures and everything was clear.  I was mightily relieved.  But next year, I think I'll just lie down topless on our driveway and have Ginger back her car back and forth over the girls a few times so that I'll be better prepared. :-)

And now it's Christmas.  Like I said, I mailed my Christmas cards this morning.  I've already received one from a couple of my cousins.  I love Christmas cards, but those yearly Christmas newsletters are another thing.  Most of them are okay, but then you get the ones where you hear about every move the children make plus how many times the dog piddled during the year.  Not so good.  I keep thinking that I should put a holiday newsletter in my cards, but my life is so boring that no one would want to read it.  However, it has occurred to me that I could lie!  Then I would have a fabulous, interesting newsletter that would read something like this:

Merry Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Harvest, Eid, you-pick-your-holiday, to you!  I pray that God, Moses, Abraham, Glinda the Good Witch, Buddha, Mother Nature, you-choose-your-higher-power, has blessed you generously this year.  This has been an exciting year for me, but please don't believe everything you hear on the news or read in the newspaper.  I would explain most of it, but it's really none of your freaking business.  Sorry.  I get a little high strung when I think about it.  So anyway, I finally found a job, praise the Lord, Mohammed, and Charlie Brown!  It's only part time, but I'm hoping it leads to bigger and better things.  Now that I have learned the 25 ways to clean a public bathroom, I've been promised that I will move up to scrubbing the toilets at our local prison.  This is a good thing because now I can visit our little Bobby more often.  I told him over and over again that smashing the front window is no way to break into a store, and that he should either pick the lock or hide inside until everyone has left.  But would he listen to his mother?  No way!  At least now he has 3 good meals a day and a place to lay his head every night.  Our youngest, Bedelia, just had her sixth child.  We're not sure who the daddy is this time, but we just love this little cross-eyed angel.  Bedelia is working on getting her GED and will be able to study more hours once she gets rid of that awful itch of hers.  The doctor said he's never seen anyone get that many different varieties of this kind of rot, but he's sure he can clear it up within the next year or so.  In the meantime, we made these cute cards out of construction paper and ribbon to send to everyone that she's been extra friendly to in the last several months.  As for Big Ed, that good-for-nothing-useless-piece-of-crap has done walked off and left me.  Praise God and Yoko Ono!  With any luck, I can get the locks changed before he thinks of coming back!  And me....what can I say.  The surgery went well, but I'm still wearing my Reynolds Wrap hat just in case the aliens try to take over my brain again.  But since it's Christmas, I've put a pretty red bow on top of it.  Bing Crosby!  And Happy New Year!

Well, that's the news in my little world.  I hope things are well in yours.

1 comment:

  1. That was a great "letter," I almost believed it! LOL! I hope that you and Ginger have a very blessed Christmas and the best New Year on record!
    I hope the rest of the family have a wonderful Holiday Season and are blessed with all good.

    Sheri Aguilera